That, my friends, was a wild ride. I feel like I owe you all a quick update. My minimum one year stay in Panama actually didn’t last much longer than seven months in total (with a one month break in Sweden). Those months felt both like seven days and seven years. There might have been more downs than ups, but in the end I’m happy to have been there and I don’t regret going. In hindsight, maybe I could have done more with my time. But at the same time I know it does take a lot of time to find friends and work, especially when you move to a new country where you hardly speak the language. Sadly, when I wasn’t traveling out of Panama, I spent much of my time on Netflix and Twitter. I found myself in a routine of going to the gym, cooking, buying groceries, doing laundry and watching TV. And I was complaining, about everything...
Look, complaining about things is my nature. I do it all the time. But in Panama I think I reached a new level. Granted, we did have a lot of problems with our apartment. Leaky windows (and there were tropical rains pretty much every day), no gas for 4 months, no hot water for 6 months, no good way of drying clothes, stuff that got moldy, food that got bad super quickly, a freezer that barely worked, an apartment door without a handle, handy-men who never showed up (and when they did, took hours and hours of my time doing nothing, and then they made up excuses to come back the next day, which they never did and then didn’t even finish what they’d started). You know, I could go on… That apartment (and building) was literally trash. But I also complained about traffic, bad driving, no sidewalks, humidity, sweating, and much, much more.
But my trip to Paris and Stockholm made me realize what I’d been missing. My friends. They are so important to me. Feeling like I belong with the people I interact with is important to me. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know that already. It just got very reinforced by visiting and seeing everyone again. So in the two months I had in Panama after coming back from Europe, I decided to meet more people. New or old, didn’t matter much. I ended up hanging out with some amazing people, which made me discover and see a different side of Panama City. And I opened up much more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a shy bitch. But I try hard not to be, I really do. Typically, when I finally fell for the place I’d spent over half of 2019 in, I had to leave. It felt like a blow to the head, a rushed decision based on my previous distaste for the city and to be honest, the people. I no longer dislike Panama, nor the people of Panama. I have lots of great memories of the city and the country. And I’ve got my friends there to thank for most of those memories. So thank you for helping me see the good, and forget about the bad.
The next chapter has already begun. I’ve been in Brasilia since Friday night and I’m excited to see what the city and its people has to offer. If you or anyone you know is around, don’t hesitate to get in touch. I don’t really know anyone here!